Puppets fuck. Puppets die. And more cool stuff happens.


CAST: Puppets

4 Knives

PLOT: Puppet. Monster. Massacre.


Shot through with intense creativity, PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE accomplishes some pretty remarkable things. Not the least of which is convincing me to take an all-puppet movie seriously. I haven’t done that since I was a kid watching The Muppet Movie in the theater with my folks and screaming, “NOOO!!!”, when Kermit’s life is direly threatened in the final reel. Director Dustin Wayde Mills concocts a world as immersive as its live action counterpart (a proverbial monster that, since I can’t imagine a live action analog to PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE). The characters we give a shit about, puppets or no. Or else we loathe them, as the case may be. But we get emotionally involved, is the point, so that when an OMG twist during the climax, one which had me thinking of Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead, the jaw drops, shock registers and a little voice inside – your inner child maybe – echoes that NOOOO!!! from ages ago. That’s called impact. And Mills did it with puppets. PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE is a sincerely good movie, nevermind its masquerade as B-cheese. The characters have a dimensional world in which to perform and a good story to drive them. This is so much more than kids in an old house get killed one by one. For one, they’re getting killed off by a monster. Crafted by a mad scientist. Puppet boobs. A giant military versus monster skirmish worthy of a ‘Zilla flick. Puppet sex. Dead bunnies everywhere. Puppet nekkid shower scene. Nazis. Did I mention puppet boobs? And the best goddamn use of CGI blood ever. Funniest fart gag ever. If I haven’t convinced you to watch Mills’ wildly creative, intelligent and hilarious movie by now, piss off.


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