Review: “Freddy vs Jason”

This Review contains SPOILERS

This is going to be a strange review. This is in my top 5 PERSONAL favorite horror movies of all time but fuck my life this movie has so many problems. I base my personal favorites on re-watchability and how entertaining they are and this ticks both those boxes for me.

I love the idea of 2 veteran slashers going at it on the big screen and I commend them on having the balls to make this movie. This movie has a beautiful look to it, not the menacing, dirty gritty boiler room feel which is why I think it has a high re-watchability factor because for me it’s more of an “any mood” movie. I like the old school gritty, dirty, creepy movies but I have to be in the right mood for them, this movie I can watch any time and for some stupid reason I just fucking love it.

I think Jason looks amazing in this movie and Freddy looks real good except when they try to make him look like the devil towards the end where he explodes out the water. It’s a very fun and enjoyable movie which doesn’t take much effort to watch.

Now let me pull my tongue out Wes Craven‘s ass and jump into why this movie is a complete fucking train wreck…

1. There are some big script issues with this and some of the line delivery is terrible, not knocking the actors, the script writers need a slap though.
2. I think the movie is edited quite sloppily. For example when Jason kills Blake on his patio you can see Jason’s machete swing stop then it cuts to blood splatter across the window.
3. Some of the fight choreography in the movie is just shit and unrealistic, mixed with the sloppy editing makes certain fight sequences look ten times worse than they should of.
4. The CGI Freddy Krueger slug. Enough said.
5. I think Kelly Rowland was an extreme mis-cast. She irritates the fuck out of me and if it wasn’t for her butting into Lori & Will’s conversation saying “Let’s go shake ours asses to the dance floor” Lori would of known Will saw her mother’s murder and the movie could of been sped up to add additional content.
6. Jason pulling off Freddy’s arm with his bare hands and also pushing his hand into Freddy’s stomach. Not even Bruce Lee could of punched someone in the stomach so hard they actually pierce the skin and get their entire hand inside them.

My biggest issue with the movie:

In the main fight sequence at the end of the movie, Freddy clearly stabs BOTH of Jason’s eyes, Freddy literally puts the entire length of the blades into both eyes then blood squirts out everywhere. Shortly after that Freddy & Jason are blown into the water by the gas explosion thanks to Will & Lori. Freddy gets out the water and Jason magically sees where Freddy is stood and then thrusts Freddy’s own arm with the knife glove through Freddy’s body. Yes Jason can see again apparently and if that is not bad enough, when Lori chops Freddy’s head off we cut to a shot of Jason slowly floating down into the water and you see both his eyes in perfect condition and he blinks.

I don’t know what in the fuck they were thinking when editing this but it is probably one of the biggest flaws I have seen in a horror movie, possibly ever. Having said all that it holds a special place in my heart. The tone of this movie is what I always wanted for a Freddy movie.

I still love this complete piece of shit and also the soundtrack is fucking epic.

My score: 5.4/10

Get it: here.

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