Review: “Poltergeist” (2015)

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Director:

Gil Kenan

Writers:

David Lindsay-Abaire (screenplay), Steven Spielberg (story)

Stars:

Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Kennedi Clements|

Synopsis: A remake of the classic 1982 Poltergeist, directed by Gil Kenan, starring San Rockwell & Rosemarie DeWitt.

This movie isn’t unwatchable but it’s far from enjoyable. It has a similar style to Ouija: over used CGI that takes you right out the movie and feels like a mix of Paranormal Activity, Spawn and Michael Bay. I’m completely convinced Bay produced this despite the facts.

The CGI squirrel… Fuck my life…

The jump scares are completely predictable; there’s zero suspense or tension, and the acting is average (as is the rest of the movie). There’s some good imagery but for the most part it’s just flooded with CGI and looks completely unrealistic (and makes it far from scary).

I’m not hating on remakes because I do like the fact they’re polishing classics for the next generation, but the majority are actually a pile of steaming dog shit unfortunately. I would say this movie falls into that category. If you’re a die-hard Poltergeist fan you may find some enjoyment in this movie but for me, it’s 90 minutes of my life I will never get back. I would have preferred not to of seen it and left it to the imagination because it was a complete let down and didn’t stand up to the hype of the trailer or marketing.

Most of the good parts are in the trailer, in fact the trailer is far better than the movie so just watch that and be happy.

**MINI SPOILER**

When they call in the expert to help get their daughter back from Spawn’s CGI fire hell in the closet is where this movie lost me complete.

His plan to locate Maddie is to strap a camera to the son’s remote control flying drone and send it into the closet so they can see where Maddie is. My question is how in the fuck was he going to locate Maddie if the boy didn’t conveniently have a flying drone that has space to mount a camera. This guy is clearly an expert in his field… When he said let’s put a camera on your drone to get eyes on Maddie I literally shouted ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ and laughed. If you ever have a Poltergeist just remember to have a remote control drone handy for when the expert comes round because if you don’t, your daughter will likely never be found. This guy is clearly an expert in his field. Completely fucking stupid.

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If you’re a die hard Poltergeist fan or just looking for a poorly made jump scare filled movie to watch with your friends over a few drinks, then wait for this to come out on Blu-ray. Otherwise I would just watch the trailer and get the best of it from that because this movie is pretty poor and I was just waiting for it to be over.

Also don’t watch this movie in 3D. Half the time it’s blurry and the 3D just isn’t very good. Waste of time putting it in 3D, it just doesn’t work.

My score: 5.6/10

Own the Poltergeist movies here:

Poltergeist (1982): HERE

Poltergeist II (1986): HERE

Poltergeist III (1988): HERE

Poltergeist (1982) Limited Edition Steelbook: HERE