I’ve been on a short hiatus due to some life events. But I am back and ready to write, and I thank everyone at The Blood Shed for being some of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to work with.
Life is a strange thing isn’t it?
I’ve been sitting here contemplating the events of the last year as well as the last couple of years, and I’m left staring in awe at every strange turn the journey has taken me. We can all say that though, can’t we? We’ve all learned, lost, gained something. Went in a completely different direction than we had initially thought we’d take. Whatever the outcomes… at least many of us can say that they were our choices to make. I never want to take that fact for granted, considering so few in the world have that same freedom.
Personal choices:
I am making one such choice today; I choose to share a collection of terrible poetry I have written over the years, from childhood on up. My goal? Is to inspire everyone to share their ‘bad’ poetry as well. Let’s start a literary explosion of our deepest feelings and impulses together and relish in the freedom of expression!
(Age 17)
Ode to the Father
Beguiled and betrayed he sat there for awhile
Talking me thru all that had come to pass
“Such is life, as you live on, it only gets harder”
But I sat there in awe…
With surprise I could only think…
‘This is not what I expected’
“expectations are needless, and often disappointing”
Waves crashed for an eternity
Vast grey skies coloured the waters below
I was angry then… as if I’d been seething for over a thousand years.
Enraged, I raised my fists toward him
Only to receive a laugh and a pat on the head.
“One day it will all be so trivial, you won’t even care”
I believe he was right.
(Age: 18)
Deal
When I was a little girl
I used to fancy demons glaring thru the window
Smiling down at me with sharp teeth and curious eyes
I felt sad for them because they would never know the joy of a skinned knee
Or the pounding of the heart when pushed to a point of danger
I played peekaboo with my nightmares
As if it were nothing more than a game
Frolicking merrily into the dark nights
Wishing for an end to come.
Sending prayers into open air
To whatever deity may have been listening
To keep me safe from the people…
Far away from their prying hands
Remove me from their thoughts
Let me vanish like nothing.
Could you perhaps show me a real person?
Or instead leave me be..
So I can be alone in my happy little world.
(Age 19)
Primed Pumped Unleashed
All the aspects to make the adrenaline rush
Oh but it’s hard to move in this gravity isn’t it?
Twisting neck from left to right
The smell is just revolting…
It blows in on the wind and alienates my senses.
Derogatory in a glass house.
We all find ourselves there from time to time.
Rarely do any of us leave the structure intact.
(Age 21)
SAFE
She bent softly, shifting to and fro, a soft crazy in the room, breathing deep as if in the open air, thru a window there was a viewer, thru a window she could see the clouds, shimmering.
(Age 22)
Unbound
Rebound.
Delicatessen
fleeting. fucked.
Buried back where it belongs.
Over it. never knew i was under it…
Over it nonetheless.
Trixie devils trip me up again.
again. again. again. gain?
What do they gain?
fuck. fuck. fuck.
Nothing.
fuck fuck fuck.
fuck you. fuck your moral codes
Practice what you preach.
Faster than the speed of light…
Too taboo for my tastes…
Madonna whore complex got me down…
Predominantly falling short of one or the other
tis fine tis fine
This is why I dance…
And this is how I forget.
(Age 23)
24
I gave a piece of myself away
In exchange for a smile
I didn’t read the fine print
Only jumped on the opportunity
How silly I must have looked.
Arms open wide with a big stupid grin…
“you can have this.”
Yes. And you can keep it.
It was all I had to give.
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